Let the kids eat the damn Halloween candy.

I find that people are continually questioning the youth of this country and in turn are worried about the future. Thank you for caring, but a little effort in their development would be more appreciated.

Children are not the problem – the problem is the adults raising them, influencing them.

Today I came across a letter submitted to a local radio station by a lady who was too big of a coward to associate her name to it. This letter is a prime example of why I hate some people, yes, hate.

I hate the word hate, unless it is in regards to ignorance, cats or shitty humans.

And this lady is a shitty, shitty human.

The letter she provided the station was a letter that she would be handing out to trick-or-treaters who she considers “overweight.” This is not a joke. And, it’s October – so April Fools does not apply. This is a real life human being who sucks at existing.

Here is the letter:

letter

My initial reaction? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

You, lady forever known as Cheryl, are what is wrong with our youth.

“It takes a village to raise a child.”  This was a horrible stance for you to take. In Hilary Clinton’s book on this topic she focuses on the impact of individuals and groups that are outside the immediate family unit and their impact on a child’s wellbeing – for better or worse. In this case, you are the worst. The Fargo-Moorhead/West Fargo “village” you speak of is probably more disappointed in you than you are in it.

Define obese.

What does Santa look like in your house? Or let me guess, there is no Santa – because he is fat.

I know a person who has 2% body fat yet due to his weight, made up of solid muscle, he is considered obese. Granted I knew this person in high school and it’s safe to assume those statistics are no longer accurate, but I don’t give a shit – that is not the point.

The point is, you are entitled to your opinion but you are also an adult and therefore should have some sort of sensitivity chip – you should exercise better judgment.

And you may have the right to say what you please, when you please and to whomever you want to spread your poisonous perceptions to but you do not have the right to make a child feel inadequate, different, fat, helpless, sad, mad, self-conscious – you should be ashamed.

No one has the right to make a child feel anything other than loved, appreciated – laugh at their jokes, embrace what makes them unique. This is our future, and we have to set an example. The example you’re setting? Hate. That hate exists in this world at every age. As a country we are trying to stop bullying – maybe we need to take that focus out of school, and shove into our homes because you live what you learn – and I sure hope you don’t have children.

That obese child? He’s depressed. His body is missing certain nutrients that maybe his parents can’t afford to accommodate. He has genetic or hormonal problems. He just hasn’t lost the baby weight. He just loves food – and that’s ok.

And on the other end of the spectrum – that child that is so skinny they can have a Snickers? They are malnourished. Some of the skinniest people I know are also the unhealthiest people I know.

You have no right to judge. And if you feel you need to judge someone – judge me. I love my six pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat – a layer of fat that could really go for some Halloween candy right now.

What lesson are you trying to teach here? If you are against giving candy to children – fine. They probably give as many shits as I do – none. Give them crayons. Give them pencils. Give them a deck of cards. Don’t give them a letter that tears them down to whatever sad level you are living your life at.

I just can’t wrap my head around this.

I know if I showed up at your door, you would probably give me the note – and not the damn Kit Kat. I don’t think I’m obese – I mean, I might be too fat to go skinny dipping but I can live with that.

To my future child – if anyone ever sticks a note like this in your candy stash while trick-or-treating I promise I will hug you until you forget about it and I will have a front yard throw down with the author. Maybe turn it into a block party – give the neighbors something to talk about.

And I will always, always love you – no matter how fat I get.

This is just one example of a world that is not setting up our children for success – it is a society that is so busy overcompensating trying to eliminate failure – failure defined by cultural norms that to be honest in some instances are bullshit. Failure is a part of life; you have to fall down to get up.

I think this country would benefit from taking a step back and really looking at how we are raising children. I had an amazing childhood – I was free to do what I wanted, learn from my mistakes, and fail without feeling like a failure. What happened to letting kids be kids?

I think one of the biggest issues we face is that this generation of adults seem to think the best approach is to reprimand and punish rather than guide and provide direction to a better place – not the right place because I don’t think that exists, just a better place. Why not step back as a parent or counselor or friend and look at why they made the decisions they made in the first place? I am sure we will find that it’s not them, it’s us.

We live in a culture that is so concerned with putting everything and everyone in these boxes with labels that I think we’ve forgotten to just let people be.

Parents these days are so worried about how they “measure up” with society, their peers – that their children don’t know what it’s like to sit outside throw rocks at the garage, play ditch or spin the bottle. Their children are at home learning seven languages, listening to NPR and discussing politics.

Can I let you in on a secret? I speak English, and only English. I never listen to NPR and I prefer to not discuss politics. And I am just fine – a fully functional, successful, educated adult that loves every minute of this life.

Parents are afraid to let their children outside because as a country we have lost sight of the good in humanity – the good that anyway you twist it is greater in numbers than the bad. Let your kids explore this world that they live in, let them make mistakes, let them be fat – and by fat I mean, let them eat the damn Halloween candy. The Halloween candy is not the problem.

To my family – thank you.

Thank you for letting me be me, always. You let me find my way in life at my own pace, on my own terms. Even when you could see I was taking the wrong path – you let me. You let me learn. You showed me the beauty in life and you let me figure out on my own that it’s not always beautiful and that there are hard lessons to learn.

Thank you for forcing me to play outside. For making me come home every night and eat dinner as a family. Thank you for letting me think I was a boy – looking back I now know the importance of a shower and a hair brush.

Thank you for appreciating my mind. For always asking my opinion and for accepting my opinion even if you disagreed.

Thank you for being interested in my education – my dreams.

Thank you for instilling in me that physical appearance fades, and that what is in my heart and my head is more important than anything else.

Thank you for helping me find that unshakeable place, that place deep down in my soul – that no word or action from others could ever hurt.

Thank you for making me feel like I matter – thank you for always, always being in my corner.

And the Halloween candy was great – but, Mom, I am more thankful that you pulled out all the sketchy candy that probably contained meth. You are my hero.

I love you.